Saturday, October 4, 2008

kind of blue

Since I have had Jack 2 months ago I have been feeling kind of down in the dumps.I feel unattractive and boring.Most of my focus is on the baby but when he is napping I think about how boring and fat and messy I am.

I started smoking again just weeks after he was born but I started back just so I would have a reason to go outside.I don't want to smoke but cigarettes have become my friend.They have been like a friend for me off and on for many years.I guess they are like a friend that slowly kills you.Weird,huh?

I will be putting new pics of Jack up soon..


Rachel and Jacob said...

hey!! got your messages!! I will send out your garland ASAP :)

Hope you enjoy!!

Tanya said...

HUGS....if you keep feeling this way, please find someone to talk to! It's something so many women go through and you shouldn't feel ashamed!

I really enjoyed your spooky story over at my blog. Your baby is just beautiful btw!!!

Meg said...

I know it is hard, but please try to not feel this way. You are a beautiful, strong woman that brought a beautiful son into this world. Try to love yourself like your son loves you....unconditionally!

mrsb said...

Just found your blog, and I'm just going to spit this out there - but have you told your doctor about the way you are feeling?

It sounds like you might be suffering from postpartum depression. Please talk to someone about it -- and be very honest about your feelings, just like you have been on your blog. In fact, if you don't think you can tell your doctor exactly how you feel, print out your last few blog posts and take them with you.

You can feel better, this doesn't have to be a horrible time for you. These kinds of feelings can be because of hormones - not your fault!

Meaghan said...

Stopping by to say hi :) What a cute baby. Hope you are having a great week!


Susan Spracher Macaluso said...

Oh my gosh!!! Ok, first of all, your baby looks identical to my Alexander, and second of all, mine was five weeks premature (so he was a premie, too). I'm freaking out how much he looks like my kid!! By the way, Xander is now 14 years old. When he was a baby he screamed CONTINUOUSLY, and I did everything right by the book. For us it was separation anxiety. Just love him. You'll be fine!