Last night was the visitation and it was like a family reunion for me.I saw relatives I haven't seen since I was 8 years old.Everyone was so friendly and much warmer than I remembered them being.
My sister, Mother,niece,my husband and child were with me so I felt pretty confident to begin with.We entered the Pentecostal church my father built with his own two hands and memories flooded my mind.All the familiar faces of family from long ago were standing in a crowd like they were relieved that we actually came.I feel I made peace with my fear of my fathers people.My childhood nightmares were from that church and all those same faces that welcomed me know.
It seems my grandmother gave me this gift of reality,that I stood before all the family and I finally felt strong,confident,happy and not like an outsider.My whole life I have had terror of a moment that would force me to be among this group of people that I am related to and now,I see they were not the demons I imagined,just regular folk.