New Years had a bad start for me.My fathers mother passed away suddenly yesterday morning.
She and I were not very close.I never spent any time with her since I have been an adult.Everyone was at the hospital,all of her kids and grandkids, tears by the gallon from every eye.I did not cry because I have no memories of her.My Grandmother was almost a stranger to me and my sister.We were raised by our Mother and her parents.As a child I saw her often but I did not like her, she was so different from the way I was raised.
Yesterday I stood before her lifeless body and I shed 2 or 3 tears for her family that grieved for her.I felt sad for my father and his brothers and sister and my grandfather.I did feel bad for myself simply because I had no memory of any relationship between her and myself.I left the hospital feeling strange and empty.
I have lost the Grandparents that raised me when I was in my twenties.My heart still hurts from that loss.I was sad on New Years eve because it was my grandfathers birthday and I missed him.
Now I have one Grandparent left,but I do not know him.I am sad for his loss and I will be at the funeral to support the family even though I am a stranger among them.